Emotional Intelligence and Negotiation

  Win Win Solution Negotiation Image

Talented leaders recognize that skillful negotiation not only brings the best outcome, but also helps build lasting relationships in the organization.

Collaborative negotiation can be powerful in driving fresh approaches, moving through change in positive ways and finding creative solutions.

Using your emotional intelligence is an important factor in exercising a collaborative negotiation style. Every stage of the negotiation process requires the artistry of effectively demonstrating strength in emotional intelligence.

Good negotiators know it is important to negotiate the issues without isolating other people. However, when the pressure builds it is often people’s feelings, expressed and repressed, that can hijack the agreement.

To increase your success at negotiation, you must be skilled at recognizing, managing and leveraging emotions – yours and the other persons.

The Bar-On EQ instrument for emotional intelligence is comprised of 15 different competencies. It is a valuable asset for examining the stages and behaviors associated with negotiation.

  • In the first stage of negotiation is preparation.  You need to carefully examine the issue in your eyes and in the eyes of the other person.
    • This is done through Empathy and Emotional Self-Awareness. Empathy allows you to look at the situation from another’s perspective. What are they thinking? How might they react? What do they really want?
    • Emotional Self-Awareness is a reflection of what you are thinking, your hot buttons, your topic passions and gaining control of how you may react. Both of these competencies promote an understanding about fulfilling your interests and those of the other person.
  • In second stage of the process, communication begins. Initially, using Reality Testing will help you “tune in” to the mood of the room and feel of the conversation.
    • As the discussion progresses Reality Testing will enable you to frame and re-frame the negotiation. Use your Assertiveness and Self-Regard to state your points.
    • Optimism will provide you with the backdrop for believing that there really is a solution. Build the relationship throughout with active listening, asking questions and unearthing areas of common interests (Interpersonal Relationship).
    • A careful guidance of your behavior (Impulse Control) will be critical for keeping the negotiation on track and in achieving a positive outcome.
  • The third stage involves expanding and assessing the solution. In this stage teaming (Social Responsibility) is critical for building a solution, creating buy-in and developing long term relationships.
    • Use Flexibility to adapt to new possibilities that may be suggested by the other side. Problem Solving will help you decipher best approaches. In this stage continue to use Empathy, Optimism and Impulse Control.
  • The final stage of negotiation is when a resolution is met. It may be a time for celebration (Happiness) and positive reinforcement of the virtues of teaming (Social Responsibility).
    • If you have worked through the negotiation successfully, Interpersonal Relationships will be strengthened and the parties may be excited about future outcomes (Optimism).

Tap into your Emotional Intelligence in meeting the challenges of negotiation. This framework can have a significant impact on how you relate to others, what you achieve in your organization and how you can capitalize on opportunities.

It has exceptional value in building the results you need to move forward.

“The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.”

Alice Walker